So, here's where we are at on this fifth day of July, in the year 2006:
-- Ken Lay is dead from a heart attack, saving him from prison, but sentencing him to what could prove to be a very interesting afterlife.
-- The space shuttle Discovery is in space, and Gabrielle Giffords is trying to use the fact that her boyfriend is on the flight to her political advantage.
-- Kim Jong Il wants attention.
-- The UA has a new head dude.
-- And now we have breaking news from an astrologer that based on his astrological readings, Ken Lay could not possibly be dead.
That's your news update. God help us all.