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Police Dispatch

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PROTEIN POWDER PROBLEMS

FOOTHILLS AREA

SEPT. 26, 5:37 P.M.

A man's disgruntled ex-girlfriend took revenge on him for breaking up with her using one conventional method and one unconventional method, according to a PCSD report.

First, the man reported, his girlfriend keyed his car (a fairly common form of spiteful vandalism). The girlfriend apparently had no fear of the consequences of being discovered, because she actually texted the reportee telling him very straightforwardly that she'd be performing this crime.

One text said, "I am going and fucking up your car ... so we can both have pieces of shit." Another: "Watch me, I'm on my way."

The car was damaged pretty badly.

A later text was much more bizarre but equally incriminating: "You know how you are good at karma, well I am too." This text included a sarcastic "smiley face" graphic after the language.

The ex then apparently committed a crime as odd as her last text: She poured Gatorade and protein powder all over the reportee's bedroom. He said he was distraught because not only was his bedroom obviously filthy—the Gatorade had completely ruined his television.

Deputies already knew the subject from previous crimes, so they found her easily. Though she denied sending the incriminating texts and damaging her ex-boyfriend's property, she was arrested and charged with false reporting and criminal damage.

BAD TIMES AT THE BUGGY

SOUTH TUCSON BOULEVARD

AUG. 27, 10:49 A.M.

A father went to jail after showing off his handgun and failing to hide his weed from law enforcement, a PCSD report said.

Two sheriff's deputies went to the Buggy Wheel trailer park, 7350 S. Tucson Blvd., to answer the call of a man claiming someone was trying to kill him.

He wore no shoes and seemed inebriated (though he maintained he'd been clean awhile from heroin). He said he'd gone to someone living in the Buggy Wheel (apparently a friend of a friend) to request an automotive part, but the man was very hostile and chased him away from his trailer with a gun. The reportee said he'd run away as fast as he could, literally "running out of his shoes," which were too big.

Upon interview, the other man said he'd been peacefully playing "house" with his daughter in their trailer when someone knocked on his door, trying to sell him drugs; he told the man to leave but he kept returning. The trailer owner said when the person knocked the second or third time, he did chase him away on foot, but the man denied brandishing a gun—though he wasn't shy about admitting he owned one, showing deputies right where it was.

Unfortunately for the trailer owner, the gun he showed off was right next to two old marijuana cigarettes. He was arrested for drug possession.

The reportee was also arrested—for trespassing, since he'd admitted he'd returned to the man's house after being asked to leave.

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