AT WARP SPEED
OCT. 24, 8:48 A.M.
An alleged drug-user went berserk after an argument, according to a Pima County Sheriff’s Department report.
The subject’s mother called 911 to report that she believed her 27-year-old son was on drugs and “taking a break from reality.” During the call, the operator could hear the son saying that his mother was missing. The mother then told dispatch that he had just fled eastbound with a knife.
Found by a deputy (with gun drawn) and ordered to stop, the subject said, “Fuck you, dude!” and continued running. After being shocked twice by a Taser, he finally fell and was transported to a hospital, where he kept hysterically asking if he was going to lose his eye (though there was apparently nothing wrong with his eye). He then said he just wanted to get “patched up” so he could go to jail. Deputies explained he was not going to jail—but a mental-health facility.
In the subject’s possession were a syringe, a tourniquet, several pills and a small baggie containing a white substance later proven to be methamphetamine.
The mother said her son had been insisting she wasn’t his mother, and that his real mother, wearing a brown hat, had earlier left the house with the dogs. Since the woman he was talking to wasn’t wearing a brown hat, he reportedly said, she couldn’t be his mother.
A family friend said the son hadn’t recognized her, either, and had told her his mother was “locked in the office” and writing suicide notes. He threatened to burn down his mother’s house unless someone released her. The family friend described the subject as “changing realities at warp speed.”
He was committed to a mental-health facility.
GUILTY, BUTT NOT AS CHARGED
EAST LITTLETOWN ROAD
OCT. 21, 12:45 P.M.
An alleged adolescent butt-toucher admitted he was guilty—but not on the day in question, a PCSD report stated.
Deputies reported to Lauffer Middle School, 5385 E. Littletown Road, after a male student allegedly grabbed the breast and rear of a female student. Two witnesses had reportedly seen the incident.
The female student said that on her way to gym class, the male student jumped on her back and grabbed her breast. Then, she said, he grabbed her “butt.” When she called him a pervert and told him to stop, he said, “Shut up; you’re my bitch.”
The male student said he had not touched anyone that day, and that “everyone else must be lying.” He then admitted to recently being suspended for inappropriate touching, saying he “touched a girl’s butt last week,” but that he hadn’t done so on that day.
He was arrested for assault.