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Police Dispatch

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DIE, MARRIAGE, DIE!

WEST ROLLER COASTER ROAD

MAY 25, 11:46 P.M.

A woman escaped harm after an alleged attack by her brother-in-law—although some meaningful possessions were not so lucky, according to a Pima County Sheriff's Department report.

The victim told the reporting deputy that her brother-in-law had been at her trailer "talking shit" all afternoon about his wife (the reportee's sister). After the reportee told him to get his "bitch ass" out, she said, he became angry and started choking her. Before she lost consciousness, her husband separated the two.

(The reporting deputy wanted to interview the victim's husband; however, he was in the bathroom "throwing up blood from an unrelated matter." His wife vowed to take him to the hospital as soon as he "was decent.")

The reportee, who displayed no signs of injury, showed the deputy some damage to her home allegedly inflicted by her brother-in-law. Books were torn off the shelf; a wine glass was broken; and a knife was stuck in her sister's marriage certificate. A knife had also been stuck in the wall, she said. The wine glass had been used at her sister and brother-in-law's wedding.

The victim said her brother-in-law once put his fist through her 35-inch television.

She was advised to get a restraining order.


A PERFECT 10

WEST AJO WAY

JUNE 2, NOON

An early-morning drinker claimed to feel completely unaffected by the alcohol he consumed, a PCSD report stated.

Deputies responding to a report of a "suspicious" parked car found it on the side of Ajo Way—with an obviously drunk man slumped against it. When the man attempted to approach, he almost collapsed; luckily, paramedics were on the scene.

The subject could barely lean against his own vehicle, because he kept swaying heavily back and forth. He had a flushed face, bloodshot eyes and very slurred speech. Asked about a bloody wound on his arm, he indicated he did not know its origin.

While assisting the subject to a patrol vehicle, deputies noted that the man had urinated on himself.

He was not able to perform sobriety tests, because he could not walk. However, when asked to submit to a breathalyzer test, he said, "Yes, no problem." He failed the test.

The subject admitted drinking alcohol that morning from 6 to 9 a.m. Asked if he thought he should have been drinking, he said he had no idea.

The subject was asked to rate how drunk he felt, "1" being completely sober, and "10" being "falling-down drunk." The man matter-of-factly said he was at a "0."

He received a DUI citation and was driven home.

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