MOVE OVER, KEITH RICHARDS
MARCH 27, 11:56 A.M.
A destructive alleged speed user claimed to have forgone smoking methamphetamine in favor of smoking his mother's ashes, according to a Pima County Sheriff's Department report.
A deputy responded to the subject's father's residence, where the father reported his son had been acting very strangely the day before. While the father was away from home, he said, his son had called him on the phone and told him he was "going crazy," before proceeding to describe burning and inhaling the ashes of his deceased mother. "I ... took the ashes of Mom," he said, "smoked them, and after I did that, I took a sledgehammer and busted out the windows on your truck."
The windows of the reportee's truck were indeed found "busted out"; however, the report made no mention of anyone finding—or not finding—the mother's ashes.
The father did not want to press charges for the truck damage; his son had already been taken to a mental hospital.
NORTH COYOTE LANE
MARCH 24, 4:03 P.M.
A young man purportedly used music and dance to exact revenge on a neighbor, a PCSD report stated.
Dispatchers informed the reporting deputy of a "neighbor problem" in which the reportee complained that someone next door had called him fat. En route to the location, the deputy learned that the complaint was now regarding loud music being played.
The reportee told the deputy that earlier in the day, his neighbor's dogs had been loose, so he took pictures as evidence and called animal control to retrieve them.
After animal-control officers left his neighbor's residence, he said, his neighbor's teenage nephew went to a car in the street and began blasting music from its stereo at a very disturbing volume, shouting, "Hey, why don't you take a picture of this?" The young man then allegedly approached him, started yelling loudly and danced along the fence line between the two properties—pulling his pants down until a nearby adult told him to stop. This behavior, the reportee felt, was meant as some sort of retaliation for the animal-control call.
Upon meeting the deputy, the 15-year-old nephew said that the reportee had called him a "fuckin' lazy ass" for no reason and threatened to "kick his ass." The boy said he had indeed played music in his aunt's car in the street, but it was not at an unreasonable volume, and he only did so because he felt like listening to 98.3 FM.
The young man was taken to the Pima County Juvenile Detention Center for disorderly conduct.