Police Dispatch

COWBOYS AND IDIOTS

SOUTH CONTINENTAL ROAD

JAN. 17, 11:51 A.M.

A rural man spun a tale of an assault by a rope-swinging neighbor on a horse, a Pima County Sheriff's Department report stated.

The reportee told deputies that earlier that afternoon, he and three friends had been going out for shooting practice when they passed the property of a neighbor with whom they had "bad blood," and that neighbor reportedly began shooting at them with a shotgun. The foursome, it was reported, hit the ground to escape the shots and then fled, but the neighbor's father allegedly pursued them on horseback, swinging a rope. Once he had them up against a fence, he allegedly began whipping them with the rope. Eventually, the reportee said, he and his companions made it back to the safety of his house.

The neighbor's sister said the reportee and his friends had been verbally abusing her brother that day, and her father had simply chased them away on his horse, telling them to leave his son alone. Nobody in the area reported hearing gunshots.

The reportee was wearing a clean, unwrinkled white dress shirt that was not consistent with his report of a scuffle; in addition, his account differed notably from his companions' accounts.

The reportee said he did not want to press charges, but wanted the incident documented.


NOT FAMILIAR WITH PETER TOSH

NORTH CAMINO AIRE FRESCO

JAN. 17, 12:55 A.M.

A proud marijuana smoker showed astounding ignorance of federal drug laws, according to a PCSD report.

Deputies responded to a vehicle crash in a northwest-side alley and followed footprints from the scene to a nearby residence, where they spoke with a man allegedly reeking of intoxicants. Inside the house, deputies found two 30-packs of Budweiser, as well as a trash bag almost entirely full of empty beer cans.

In the bedroom, deputies confiscated a bong containing marijuana residue and dirty water, which another man staying at the residence declared was his. The man had no problem stating that he smoked marijuana—in fact, he said, he had recently smoked it. But he insisted that he had not committed a crime; he believed marijuana was legal.

On the way to jail for possession of the bong, he repeatedly stated the item was his and that he smoked marijuana.

A young female determined to be unconnected to both the vehicle crash and the drug paraphernalia was also found inside the residence. She said she had been visiting her aunt in the hospital, but had been told by her mother to go to a house where she could be in a more "joyous" environment.