Hey, Professor Francis, this goes out to you, good sir. I'm sure you'll be thrilled with this bit of good news: According to a study by mobile ad technology company Marchex, Arizona is one of the top five states where residents are least likely to curse.
The company examined more than 600,000 phone calls over a 12 month-period. Researchers looked at calls placed by consumers to businesses across 30 industries, including cable and satellite companies, auto dealerships and pest control centers. They then scanned for curse words and matched them to the state from where the calls were placed.
Ohio ranked first among states where people were most likely to curse, swearing in one out of about every 150 phone conversations. Maryland came in second, followed by New Jersey, Louisiana and Illinois.
The state least likely to drop the f-bomb or some other curse word? Washington. People there cursed once in about every 300 conversations — or half as much as Ohioans. Massachusetts, Arizona, Texas and Virginia rounded out the top five of what Marchex dubbed the “goody two-shoes” category.
OK, so let's get this out of the way, first: Holy shit, they scanned our cell phone calls for curse words! What the fuck? What else did they scan for? Get that NSA word list out. Perhaps my favorite word was added for good measure. Should be. Only terrorists know how to throw that one around.
Ah, Arizona. Well, perhaps the technology company needs to do a new phone scan and come out with a study on most racist state. Interesting correlation: lack of curse words and increase in fear and bigotry. Related? Absolutely. What needs to happen next? We need to encourage more cursing, obviously.
Which brings me to this invitation. Tomorrow is Odyssey's monthly storytelling event. It's a special one for several reasons: the theme of the evening is "Big Bad Words: The Bitch Show"; I'll be telling a story about my favorite word; and it's also the farewell show for former Odyssey producer Sarah K. Smith, in town to curate her last Odyssey gig. (She's in Seattle now and she's missed, but continuing to do the arts education good works she did so well for Centennial Hall.)
So if your ears can stand it and you believe in the power of big bad words, come on down between 7 to 9 p.m. to Fluxx Studio and Gallery, 414 E. Ninth St., and give Sarah a big hug.