by David Mendez
It's hot as hell. We've been over this before, as you might know — hell, even Danehy went over his one lamentation regarding our incredibly hot June — and you've presumably been outside, so you know the score.
But, after diligently surfing the Internet for solutions and cat videos, we've found something (not a cat video) that can help: Thug Kitchen's recipe for Spiked Citrus Iced Tea.
For the uninitiated, Thug Kitchen is a damn hilarious food blog that offers up hilarious, delicious recipes that just happen to be vegan (though, as Thug Kitchen told me, "it's not something we promote because we aren't trying to convert anyone. We just want everyone to eat more fucking veggies.").
But the ideas are too good, and the captioned photos are too funny, to simply ignore for those who love animal product. Thus, with Thug Kitchen's permission (because nothing is more thug than respect), we're reprinting their recipe:
NO SHIT IT’S HOT, IT’S FUCKING JULY. Pull yourself together, go find some shade, and kick back with Thug Kitchen’s citrus iced tea. Guaranteed to refresh your attitude and show your BBQ guests that you’ve got shit figured out. Even if you don’t.SPIKED CITRUS ICED TEA
- 1 gallon of water
- 4 black tea bags
- 4 white tea bags (if you find white tea with ginger, lemon, and orange flavors in it, that would be legit)
- ¼ - ½ cup maple syrup (this shit can be expensive so feel free to replace it with agave or honey)
- 2 ½ cups whiskey (optional, but who are you kidding)
- ½ cup orange juice
- 1/3 cup lemon juice
Heat the water is a big pot on the stove until you see bubbles forming on the bottom. No need to boil that shit. Add the tea bags and let them chill out in the hot water for about 5 minutes. Pull the bags out and add the ¼ cup maple syrup, the whiskey, and citrus juices. Stir and taste that motherfucker. If you like it a little sweeter, add more syrup.
Let the tea cool in the fridge until you’re damn well ready. Serve this shit with ice and slices of oranges and lemons because then it looks classy as fuck.
Makes enough for a party or just you on the laziest summer day ever