by David Mendez
Because only someone affiliated with ASU would threaten to destroy something that's already broken.
Carlos J. Balsas, 41, of Tempe, told a security guard who searched his backpack just after 10 a.m. Saturday at the Liberty Bell Center that, “I have explosives in there.” He then fled, and security notified U.S. Park Rangers.
Rangers arrested and handcuffed Balsas after a brief struggle, and he was uncooperative, according to police.
The Federal Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco and Firearms and the Philadelphia Police bomb squad shut down the scene to pedestrian and vehicle traffic during the investigation, but tests on the backpack came back negative for explosives.
And look at that! He's just wasting everyone's time.
Now, let's be clear: Girls Gone Wild University and Casino hasn't employed Balsas since May 2011, according to an ASU spokesperson, meaning that he's been free of their alluring-yet-toxic influence for more than a year and a half. But who knows: maybe the inability to mold the minds of the kinds of students who become sugar babies drove him mad! Or not. Hopefully, he gets the help he needs.
Considering the time he may potentially get (Balsas is charged with counts of making terroristic threats, bomb threats, possessing an instrument of crime, reckless endangerment and "related charges" according to various news outlets,) he should have plenty of time to do so.