Tom Goes to the Chair: 'Girls,' Golden Globes and Thoughts From Around the Dial

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Okay, okay, I get it. A week after I ripped the gruesome HBO series Girls, it wins the Golden Globe for Best Comedy Series. But, please note, these are the Golden Globes, not the Oscars or Emmys. The Golden Globes are a bit more…interesting. Remember, former Golden Globe top acting awards have gone to such luminaries as Linda Blair, Sasha Baron Cohen, and (gulp!) Pia Zadora. I understand that some people are enthralled with the different-ness of Girls, but different doesn’t always mean better, even in television. Seinfeld was different, but so was My Mother, The Car.

I urge you to watch the show for yourself, just to see how gratingly annoying it is. But, if you don’t have HBO or the time to watch the show, I’ll provide weekly updates of it along with the other TV topic(s) of the week, just to keep you updated.

This past week, responding to public pressure that the show was too white, writer/producer/director/idea person Lena Dunham found another guy to get naked with on screen. And whaddya know, he’s black. Donald Glover, from the show Community and the guy whose alter ego is rapper Childish Gambino, falls for our leading lady and chases her around a bookstore, complaining that he is having trouble “running with a boner.” Somewhere, Oscar Wilde is weeping at not having been alive in the 21st century, wherein he would have had the opportunity to make fail-safe erection jokes.

But, that’s not the lowlight. Dunham’s character’s best friend is a guy who just the other day realized that he’s gay. That happens, right? So this newly gay guy gets in an argument with another female friend. He calls her a little bitch, then slaps her, then calls her a bitch again. Naturally, they leap into each other’s arms with an animal-like passion, wrestling and kissing. They’re just about ready to consummate the act when HE REMEMBERS THAT HE’S GAY!!!!!
I almost can’t wait to see how they top that next week. Actually, I can, but I’ll watch it just for y’all.

Also last week:

-The family on Modern Family got a little bit bigger last week when Gloria gave birth to the baby’s she’s been carrying this season. Complicating matters is that she gave birth on her son Manny’s 14th birthday. The show has been a bit uneven this season, but it’s still better than anything else on the air. I prefer the nerd/genius humor of The Big Bang Theory, but Family is so well-written that it probably deserves to win all of the Emmys that it grabs every year.

When Gloria (Sofia Vergara) announced that she was pregnant in the season opener, the kid Luke wondered how his 65-year-old grandfather, played by Ed O’Neill, had managed to impregnate her. Luke’s dad, Phil (played by Ty Burrell), says, “Don’t be silly, Luke. Anybody could do it with Gloria.”

-Archer, perhaps the most politically incorrect show on TV, is back. I don’t know where to begin to explain how inappropriate this show can be. In the pilot episode, three seasons ago, they suspected that somebody at the spy agency was doing the “American Pie” with food that people had left in the refrigerator. They called the unknown assailant “The Food Rapist.” One day, Archer brought some donuts to work and said, “I thought you’d like to eat something that’s supposed to be cream-filled.”

-Another season of American Idol started. I won’t watch. I watched part of the first season when Kelly Clarkson beat Justin Guarini. That was enough for me. I hear that there is a nasty feud between almost-talentless judge Nikki Minaj and extremely-talented-but-mostly-clueless judge Mariah Carey. I don’t care, but you might.

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