by David Mendez
During a particularly slow moment today, incoming Tucson Weekly editor Dan Gibson and I spent far too much time and money attempting to obtain a present in our break room's vending machine, left by the enterprising folks who stock said machine.
It's a tale that includes counting change, disbelief in how much we spent, the horror of an object that got stuck in the machine (twice) and the use of a wire hangar to dislodge the item so we could collect our bounty. It's a project that took a good ten minutes and produced a fair amount of amusement.
In an effort to give this story some closure, and justify the expense to myself, I present the following image to TucsonWeekly.com readers for your approval:
That's right. We spent somewhere in the neighborhood of five dollars for off-brand Lifesavers, lemon cookies, a lint brush, some candy canes, a nail file and Corn Nuts.
And the worst part? The chips at the top, which actually look like they're worth the effort if they were included, were the ones we purchased in an effort to obtain the package. Evidently, we imagined that the present held untold, life-changing riches within its wrapping paper—Powerball-esque life-changing! Or, y'know, some kind of gift card, at least.
The lesson? Ten minutes of amusement are generally worth about five dollars and a blog post.
Have a good evening, folks.