Chuck Norris' Family Claims Obama Re-election Will Bring "1,000 Years Of Darkness"

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Chuck Norris, action film star and the man responsible for creating giraffes after having kicked a horse in the chin, has taken to YouTube, begging for the "30 million evangelical Christians" who sat out last Election Day to make it to the polls this year.

Norris (who is reportedly able to speak braille,) and his wife, Gina, spend nearly a minute reciting quotations from Ronald Reagan and Edmund Burke, intended to inspire voters to make sure that Obama is run on a rail back to Chicago, where, presumably, he would continue conspiring to make America a socialist paradise from an underground lair below the Shedd Aquarium.

As you may know already, the 72-year-old Norris (who is said to be alive today because the Grim Reaper is too afraid to collect him) is no stranger to involving himself in political discussion, going on record in 2009 to claim that, had Obamacare existed 2000 years ago, Mary of Nazareth would have had to abort Jesus Christ.

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