I'm Sorry for Even Mentioning Charlie Sheen at This Point

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You're not helping your cause here, Charlie Sheen, with the Dr. Strangelove reference. I'd probably watch the Comedy Central roast in his "honor" if I could be promised a full mental breakdown on stage in the midst of the parade of second rate comedians mocking him, but I suspect he'll just be hanging out making the same stupid face I was sick of back when everyone was saying "winning" for a week. Still, this will be more watchable than the new look Three and a Half Men that it's airing at the same time as, I suppose.

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