Best Of Tucson®

Best Way to Get Your Kids to Listen

The Giant Lumberjack

Pull into the parking lot of Don's Hot Rod Shop at 2811 N. Stone Ave. Introduce your children to Tall Paul, the 20-foot-tall, bearded behemoth, aka Glenn Stone. Admire how he shines, this newly renovated Logger Prince of Tucson, with his flap-front jeans a dark blue, and with him finally reunited with his faithful sidekick, Axe Boy. Explain to them that he's the reason Tucson is in a desert, because the forests of Southern Arizona were all chopped into small, fireplace-ready logs by his surgically precise, razor-sharp swings. Then tell them that if they don't put away their dang toys and pick up their stinky socks, like you've told them a thousand times, Tall Paul will come for you.