47 Ronin

Keanu Reeves drones his way through this disgustingly bad samurai movie, an expensive exercise in excess that will surely result in some people at Universal losing their jobs. Who greenlit this thing? Reeves never seems to string more than five words together as Kai, a “half-breed” who is part human, and possibly part demon or something like that. He can’t really hang with the samurai warriors, so he basically mopes about, looking all sad and bowing to his masters, until somebody is being attacked by something or other, in which case he is compelled to fight for their honor … or something like that. It’s a meandering, listless mess, and a clear sign that Reeves has worn out his welcome in blockbuster action films. It’s no wonder he’s pushing for a new Bill and Ted movie; the dude is no longer fun when he’s springing into action. It’s funny for all of the wrong reasons.