Giving to Toys for Tots, donating funds to fix a child’s cleft lip and sponsoring an aye-aye lemur in Madagascar are noble ways to celebrate the holidays indeed, but we here in America have a duty to give back in a patriotic way.

We can help pay off the national debt.

Soaring to more than $15 trillion, the national debt could use a little TLC from the general public. We the people should do what we can, even if it means going without during our own holiday celebrations.

Sure, it may mean forgetting the black pearl earrings for your fiancé, the suede sports jacket for your beloved beau or substituting the holiday ham and turkey for a “Manager’s Special” salami log.

But we can do it. Let us proudly starve, scrimp and save in the name of the nation. Forget the Christmas candies and fruitcake, we can instead eat bread.

Even aye-aye lemurs can wait when we have this important national issue that needs our urgent attention. Involuntarily acquiescing big chunks of our income is not enough — we can do more for our country.

Uncle Sam makes it incredibly easy to help pay off the debt, as well. A direct link on the U.S. Treasury website under “Financing the Debt” lets you siphon money from a bank or credit card account directly into the nation’s coffers with a few clicks of the mouse.

Think how much time you save on holiday shopping or picking out toys for those tots when you can choose to use your holiday funds in this nationalistic fashion. If you think any sum of money you could possibly give to help finance the national debt won’t even make a dent in the seemingly bottomless bucket — you’re probably right.

But it doesn’t hurt to try. After all, $15 trillion certainly appears more attainable if it’s broken down into the manageable amounts noted by CNBC.

If we break it down into billions, for instance, it only takes about $40 billion, or Bill Gates’ net worth in 2009, to reach from Seattle to Miami if the billions were allocated in $1 bills. The coast-to-coast diagonal span stretches about 2,714 miles, which means a single billion in $1 bills is a mere 67 or so miles.

Keeping that little sum in mind, we could easily keep on giving until the donation reached $1 trillion. If the trillion were to be broken down into $1 bills, it would stretch about 67,866 miles, enough to wind nearly three times around the Earth at the equator.

If we want to conserve space, we can instead convert the $1 bills to $100 bills, with $1 trillion worth of $100 bills enough to fill up 4.5 Olympic-sized pools. The only problem, however, is the U.S. does not have $1 trillion worth of $100 bills in circulation.

We can still go back to the $1 bill, or even use $5, $10 or $20 bills to help pay off the national debt. Just keep the $2 bills to yourself as they can bring good luck if you rip off one of the corners.

Although the option of “Financing the Debt” may seem like a very big waste of money to many, one Florida guy took the task to heart, naming the U.S. Treasury as the beneficiary in his will. When 87-year-old James H. Davidson Jr. died in December 2010, he lovingly left Uncle Sam his historic $1.175 million home along with $1 million in assets.

The only comment from Davidson’s surviving relatives, which included nieces and nephews, was that they were surprised, according to the Miami Herald.

They were perhaps too swollen with pride say much else, as their uncle did what any good American should do. May the U.S. Treasury be so blessed by others during this time of good cheer, of giving, and bon appétit with that salami
and bread.
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Ryn Gargulinski, aka Rynski, is a writer, artist, performer and poet. Her column runs in the “Tucson Weekly” print edition monthly and weekly on Friday on “The Range.” See more writing and art from RYNdustries at ryngargulinski.com and rynski.etsy.com.